


April Showers bring McKirk McDrabbles

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: McKirk - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Easter, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-17 22:05:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 7,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1404181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Almost 30 days of Spring and Easter related McKirk!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. April Fool's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God I hate April Fool's Day....Jim and Bones just might too!

Pranks were flying around the USS Enterprise at warp 10. There was itching power, laxatives disguised as chocolate, the old fly in the ice cube trick.

Bones had had enough. Enough pranks and enough of this day, he just wanted to go back to his quarters and duck under the covers. He keyed his security code into the door and called for the lights, but nothing happened. “Fuck me, not another god-dammed prank.”

“Not a prank Bones, just good old fashioned candlelight.” Jim said from the bed.

Bones walked further into the room to see his boyfriend and ship’s Captain reclining on his bed, holo-candles shimmering in the air. Jim got up and walked to Bones, pulling him into a long kiss. Bones kissed him back, sliding his tongue across Jim’s as his arms wrapped around his hips.  

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you Bones.” Jim stepped out of Bones’ arms and got down on one knee. “We’ve been together through so much Bones and it’s just not possible to love you more than I already do. I want to spend my life with you, make a home with you.” He took a breath and swallowed roughly. “I want to raise babies with you, Bones. Will you marry me?” Jim smiled up at him.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jim? April Fool’s, RIGHT?” Bones was furious. How dare Jim make a mockery of this? He stroke toward the door.

“Bones wait!” Jim cried out from the floor, he had fallen to both knees when Bones turned away from him.

He was so pissed off he almost missed the genuine hurt in Jim’s voice. He turned to see Jim kneeling on the floor with a closed fist rubbing at his heart. “Jim?” Bones rushed back and knelt next to him, reaching his hands out for Jim’s tear streaked face. “You were serious, darlin?”

Jim could only nod and opened the fist that he had been clutching to his heart. In his palm was a platinum wedding band.  

“Oh Jimmy.” Bones’ heart broke. How could he have thought Jim would ever make a joke out of this? His golden boy who was even now still afraid that the one person he loved would walk away from him and Bones had proven him right by doing just that thing. He pulled Jim into his arms and rocked him against his chest. “So sorry Jimmy, I’m so sorry darlin. It’s just today and all the pranks and I just- I’m a complete dick, I love you so much, of course I wanna marry you, always have Jim. If you’re still wantin to I mean?” Bones couldn’t stop rambling.

Jim looked up at Bones with his watery blue eyes. “I changed my mind Bones.”

“Oh…” He deserved this, he totally fucking deserved it.

“APRIL FOOOOOOL’S!” Jim slid the ring on Bones finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate April Fool's Day with a burning passion. Of course I was "fooled" by the obligatory RIP meme for George R.R. Martin and that just pisses me off. However I had written this little piece of nasty long before that so here it is. 
> 
> When I was a kid, my father used to bang around the house early on weekend morning and when we would all wake up pissed off, his response would be, "If I'm up everybody should be up." Well fuck you and the horse you rode in on.... However, it's what I've done to my beloved Jim and Bones, I'm miserable and so are they, but hey it ends happy, and that's what matters!


	2. Head Will Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones, Jim and Joanna wait in line to get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny!

The line stretched for miles. Well, it felt like it when you were waiting forever with two children in line to meet the Easter Bunny. Joanna was dealing well with the line, she was making friends with some of the other little kids. Jim on the other hand was out of control. “Bones, I’m hungry, are we there yet?”

“You’re such an infant there are granola bars your backpack.”

The line had finally moved enough so that the Easter Bunny was in their line of sight. Jim hoisted Joanna up in his arms so she could see the Bunny. He was a bright pink, fluffy bunny with a white bowtie and ears that flopped over. It was April in Atlanta and the temps were in the 80’s that day. Bones thought the bunny was probably dying of dehydration in that suit. Just then a clumsy father stepped on the Bunny’s foot as he tried to stand up and the Bunny fell forward, into the father, which was lucky for him or he would have tumbled down five stairs. The Easter Bunny’s head was not so fortunate. It flew off his neck in slow motion hitting the dais with a loud thud, before continuing to bounce down each of the other five steps. When it reached the bottom it was spinning and the ears were flying around the head.

It was pandemonium. All of the children started to scream. The pimply faced Easter Bunny tried to move past the clumsy father to get to his head, but the dumb ox was still standing on his foot. The Bunny fell and hit the floor hard, his arms outstretched reaching for his lost head. Parents were rushing to herd their children away from the carnage. Others were laughing so hard tears rolled down their faces. Bones was afraid to look behind at Jim and Joanna, knowing his own control was in danger of slipping. He could feel giggles bubbling up in his chest and knew it would only take one look at Jim to set him off. So instead he shoved forward toward the scene of the accident. Joanna, for her part in all of this was watching wide eyed when Bones leapt into action.

Bones managed to hurtle his way through the screaming, emotionally scarred children and grabbed the Easter Bunny’s lost head. He jumped up the stairs and turned to face the crowd. “Don’t worry everyone, I’m a doctor. I think I can save him.” Bones flipped the Bunny onto his back and slammed his head back on. “This might hurt a bit, kid.” He spoke low to the Bunny. Bones proceeded to perform exaggerated CPR on the Easter Bunny, thumping hard on his chest. The Bunny kicked his legs up and Bones thought he heard the kid say, “Oww, my spleen.”

“Breathe, dammit!” Bones yelled out and heard the gathered crowd “OHHH” in response. He thumped hard twice more on the kid’s chest, he’d probably have bruises tomorrow, but Bones didn’t care.  “Okay kid.” He whispered, “On your feet.” Bones hauled the kid up to a large grateful round of applause.

“My hero!” Jim shouted from the front of the line.

Bones turned to the Easter Bunny. “My kid’s picture better be free.”


	3. Purple Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Bones were just trying to dye Easter Eggs...

Jim’s hands were purple and Bones had to admit they looked fucking amazing wrapped around his cock. All he could do was watch as Jim’s hands continued to work his cock. Jim had his fingers laced together and Bones cock between them. Jim wasn’t moving them up and down so much as he was rotating the palms of his hands around Bones’ meat.

“Fuck, Jim. Feels so fuckin good.”  Bones leaned his head forward to rest against Jim whose ass was pushed against the kitchen counter.

“Glad you like it Bones.” Jim kissed his lips. “Put your hands on me Bones, have’ta feel you too.”

Bones reached forward to the waistband of Jim’s pants with his multicolored hands, one was blue the other bright orange. He shucked Jim’s pants down just enough to free his cock and wrap his hands around it. “Fuck yeah.” Jim moaned.

Both men leaned into each other as their hands sped up and orgasm approached. “Gonna come Jim.” Bones panted.

“Me too, Bones, fuck.”

Jim looked down to see Bones’ cock erupting all over his purple hands. This in turn triggered his own climax which coated Bones’ hands and part of his shirt.

“Guess dyeing Easter Eggs wasn’t a total bust after all, Jim.”


	4. An Egg Hunt That Will Live In Infamy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does Jim have a black eye?  
> Why is Spock Singing?  
> Why is Scotty so mad?  
> Why is Bones in such a bad mood?

Scotty, that dirty, cheating, Scottish bastard had thrown the first punch in an egg hunt that would go down in history. It was one for the ages according to James T. Kirk, who was himself sporting quite a shiner on his left eye. Bones was fucking pissed, not unusual for the good doctor, but considering this was his first time behind bars, everyone understood where he was coming from. And Spock? Well, the pointy eared Vulcan was at the far end of the cell leaning against the bars. Spock was drunk on chocolate, well perhaps that’s not a strong enough word for it, Spock was fucking wasted on chocolate, which is what really started this mess in the first place.

 

 ** _“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows but….SCOTTY.”_** _Spock_ had been singing this old Earth gospel song for half an hour, each time singing out the name of another friend. 

 

“C’mon Jim, let’s have a look at that eye.”

 

“Not sure I want you touching me Bonesy, you’re the one who gave me the eye in the first place.”

 

“Thas’ a real nice fren, ya go’ there, Jimmy, a true friend indeed.” Scotty moaned from his own corner of the cell.

 

“Ya had one job Scotty, one fuckin job; keep Spock outta the chocolate, now look where you’re attention to detail landed us.” He turned back to Jim. “It was an accident and you know it, Jim.”

 

Spock stopped singing long enough to come to the defense of his friend. “You are one mean fucker, Bones.” Spock giggled. “You should be nicer to my pal Scotty. Do not make me hit you again.”

 

“Calm the hell down Spock, I’ll deal with you later.” Bones was still smarting from the shot to the nose he had taken from the drunk Vulcan.

 

“It is so fucking on now, fucker of my mother.” Spock giggled.

“SPOCK!” They heard Uhura’s voice boom from around the corner.

“Well fuck, there goes the neighborhood.” Spock said and they all burst out laughing, even Bones. Soon they were laughing like loons, all four men holding on to each other to keep from landing on the floor.

“Oh, so this is funny is it?” Uhura asked, hands on hips, unholy fire in her eyes.

“It might be safer to spend the night here, Spock.” Jim said and the giggles started fresh.

“Anyone care to tell me what the hell happened?”

“Heeeeey there, sugar tits.” Spock called out.

“You guys let him into the chocolate, didn’t you? Whose job was it to keep Spock away from the Easter candy?”

The four friends started to sing, **_“_** ** _Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen…”_**


	5. Giganto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim brings home a giant stuffed bunny for Joanna, but may have a bigger surprise in store...

“Can I get some help out here, Bones?” Jim yelled from the door of the house.

Bones walked outside to see Jim struggling to haul an enormous stuffed rabbit out of the passenger seat of his truck. “Jesus Christ in an Easter bonnet, Jim, what is this thing?”

“I would think it was obvious Bones, it’s a giant stuffed, pink bunny.”

“Jim, you shouldn’t have.”

He laughed.  “It’s not for you Bones, it’s for Joanna.”

The eyebrow of doom arched up in response. “I know that Jim. I mean it’s bigger than she is, what’s she gonna do with it?”

Jim managed to pull the bunny free and held it out to Bones who took it grudgingly, admitting to himself it was a nice bunny, real soft too, Joanna was going to flip for it. His heart clenched a bit in his chest when he thought about the tiny stuffed rabbit hidden for Jo in his sock drawer. How could that ever compare to Giganto?

“She can cuddle with it when we’re back on the Enterprise Bones. Not as good as the real thing from us, but-” Jim stopped, took a deep breath hoping to keep the tears in his eyes from falling.

Bones set Giganto on the driveway and pulled Jim into a hug. “Gets harder every time.” He snuffled into Bones’ shirt. “Can’t keep saying goodbye to her.”

“What are you tryin to say, Jim?”

He clutched Bones harder. “Maybe it’s time to stop, Bones, to come home for good, get married, raise our family.”

“You proposing, kid?”

Jim hiccupped against his chest. “I am, Bones.”

“Yes, Jim. Yes to all of it.” He could see the fluffy pink bunny over Jim’s shoulder, he looked like he approved too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Jim and Bones having to repeatedly say goodbye to Joanna breaks my heart, I can literally feel a hand reach into my chest and squeeze. I can see Jim standing on the observation deck crying as Earth gets smaller and further away from the Enterprise. 
> 
> I am still waiting patiently for Jim and Bones to bring me baby fic...Got all the time in the world boys. I am ready when you are!


	6. An Easter Bunny a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim agrees to dress as the Easter Bunny...

“Boooones, it’s 120 degrees outside, shouldn’t you be worried about me getting heatstroke or something?”

“Stop being such an infant, it’s only 85 degrees and this is for Joanna’s pre-school class.”

“Bones, I’m sweating my balls off in this rabbit suit, I feel like the kid from The Christmas Story.”

Bones snorted and turned away from Jim, he couldn’t help it, he did kind of look like Ralphie. Thankfully Jim’s bunny outfit was not pink, it was white.  It also featured an open faced hood rather than an oversized head and had floppy bunny ears. Jim looked friggen adorable. “It’s simple Jim-” Bones started to laugh again when Jim turned to look at him and hit himself in the face with his own ears.  

“Booones, you’re not helping.”

“Hey you were the one who volunteered to do the Bunny Hop, Jim not me.”

“No kidding, Father of the Year.”

“Jimmmm, the Easter Bunny’s not supposed to be grumpy.”

“Yet another reason you didn’t volunteer.”

Joanna’s teacher stepped into hall and motioned Jim forward. When she walked back into the classroom, Jim heard her say, “Is everyone ready for our special guest?”  This was followed by twenty little voices yelling, “Yes!”

Jim hopped into the room, his ears flying around his face. “Hi kids, I’m the Easter Bunny.” He said.

“That’s my Daddy.” Joanna’s whisper was loud enough that Bones heard her from the doorway of the classroom where he was taking video of the event.

“Is everyone ready to do the Bunny Hop?” Twenty little balls of energy barreled into Jim, knocking him to the floor. He was laughing so hard, he couldn’t stand back up again. Bones kept the camera rolling, the sounds of his own laughter joining in with Jim.


	7. Bunny Picture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joanna is scared to have her picture taken with the Easter Bunny.

The Easter Bunny was in distress, this little fucker was heavy. James Tiberius Kirk was suffering the humiliation of sitting on the Easter Bunny’s bony knee to prove to the love of his life that there wasn’t any reason to be afraid of the six foot tall purple bunny. The flash snapped and Jim saw polka dots before his eyes. “See Jo-Jo, piece of cake.”

“I don’t know, I wanna see Daddy sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap too.”

Jim snorted when the kid mumbled an exaggerated “Motherfucker” under his breath.

“C’mon Bones, let’s have our picture taken with the Easter Bunny.”

“Don’t worry kid, I’m a doctor, you’re knees were built to take this kind of pressure.” Bones sat on the other bony knee. “Hurry up and take the damn picture before his dammed bony knee sterilizes me.”

The flash snapped again and Jim saw more polka dots. “Ready now Jo? Come on sweetheart.” Jo ran to Jim and her Daddy.

“You sure you don’t have any stray aunts or uncles, a four hundred pound godmother you want in the picture?” The Easter Bunny was on his last legs.

Joanna hopped up onto the Bunny’s lap between Jim and Bones. “I wasn’t scared at all, just wanted you to have pictures with the Easter Bunny too.”

The Easter Bunny groaned.


	8. April Showers Bring...Puddle Jumpers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joanna can't wait to try out her new raincoat and boots!
> 
> It is raining cats and dogs here today, a perfect time for this little snapshot of the Kirk-McCoy house.

Joanna loved her new ladybug raincoat and boots. They were bright red with black polka dots. The problem with this gift was that the sun was shining brightly. Joanna would bounce out of bed every morning and run to the windows hoping for rain and would slump to the breakfast table after seeing the sun was shining.

“No doubt she’s your daughter, Bones.” Jim laughed.

“Whattaya mean?” Bones’ eyebrow of doom was on red alert.

“She’s the only kid I know who’s unhappy when the sun shines.”

Finally the day came when there were deep rumbles in the sky and deeper puddles in the hard-packed red Georgia clay. “C’mon Daddy,” Joanna urged “It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring.” She sang and Jim couldn’t help but join in as he grabbed his own raincoat. They both ran outside and Joanna jumped into the middle of the first big puddle she came to. She was soaked from head to toe, mud splashing all over her ladybug raincoat and boots.

“Well, how do your boots work Jo?” Jim asked as he laughed with her.

“Great Daddy, you too, you too. Jump. Jump.”

He giggled. “You want me to jump in the puddle too, Jo-Jo?” His blue eyes danced.

“Yes, yes Daddy!” Joanna was on the opposite side of the puddle cheering him on.

“Okay, here goes.” Jim jumped straight up into the air and splashed down, soaking his pants, his raincoat and into his hair.

“You did it Daddy.” Joanna shouted and jumped back into the middle of the puddle with Jim. “It’s raining it’s pouring…”

Bones stood watching from the porch, wondering if they made ladybug boots in Jim’s size.


	9. Hello Easter Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joanna misbehaves and Bones calls the Easter Bunny.

“Hello Easter Bunny, this is Leonard McCoy. D’ya have a sec to talk about my daughter, Joanna?”

Joanna stood listening to her father on the phone with the Easter Bunny. She hadn’t meant to hit Daddy Jim, she really hadn’t, but he wasn’t listening to her.

“Well, Mr. Bunny she hit her father.”

Now she wouldn’t get any candy or a new stuffed bunny. Her life was over.

“What now? Did he deserve it? Well probably so, but…”

Daddy Jim didn’t deserve to be hit. He was the best Daddy ever, well most of the time anyway.

“You think she should apologize to her Daddy? Yeah me too.”

She was really sorry and wanted to tell Daddy so, but she couldn’t find him. He wasn’t in the kitchen or in his office. She walked back from the kitchen and stood by Bones.

“I don’t know if she deserves a chocolate bunny, not even a small one.”

Joanna shook her head “no” in agreement with Bones.

“Joanna agrees, Mr. Bunny, she looks real sorry. What’s that? Tell her if she apologizes real pretty she can go on the ‘maybe’ list. Well if you think that’s best. Okay, bye now.”

Jim pressed the “END” button on his phone, a smile on his face. He headed back into the house to accept an apology from his little girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Joanna! Rest assured the Easter Bunny is going to visit the Kirk-McCoy house this Easter. He may just bring her a pair of junior boxing gloves...I mean seriously, if Bones had a penny for every time HE wanted to hit Jim? He could buy planet Earth twice over!


	10. Nailed IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is baking again, need I say more?

It had looked so simple on Pinterest; a cake baked in an oval shaped pan and decorated to look like an Easter egg. What could be more simple? If James Tiberius Kirk, baker extraordinaire, had a nickel for every time he had asked himself that question since earlier that morning, he could buy Orion, twice!

 

Jim stood back and looked at his finished product. It didn’t look like the pic on the internet and it didn’t look particularly appetizing either. He just couldn’t figure out where he had gone wrong.

 

Looking back at the recipe, he noted with pride that he had used the correct amount of ingredients since Bones had taught him how to use and read measuring cups after his last disastrous attempt at baking. He remembered the cake batter was a pale yellow color just as the recipe said it would be. The next step of the directions called for the egg-shaped cake pan to be lightly greased. Jim had no idea why you would use engine grease in a cake recipe, but who was he to argue with the baking gurus on Pinterest? Greased pan, check! Jim also reviewed the oven temperature, he was able to do that because he had forgotten to shut if off in the first place. It was set at 350 degrees just like the recipe said. He pressed the off button.

 

So, he wondered, why on earth was his cake dark brown when the picture clearly showed a beautiful golden cake? Figuring it must be a trick of the light in the online picture, Jim grabbed the white icing and began to frost the cake. Boy was Bones going to be surprised!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you all LOVE those pictures on Pinterest of these elaborately decorated cakes and then the pics from mere mortals who attempt to make that cake at home. NAILED IT! 
> 
> One of these days I'll write Jim succeeding in the kitchen...with food. Just not today!


	11. Operation Italiano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones insists his family give up chocolate for Lent.
> 
> Being Italian and raised Catholic, I never understood the no meat on Friday or during Lent rule...people honestly believed they were going to hell for eating pepperoni on Friday!

Operation Italiano

“I’m hereby callin the Kirk-McCoy family meeting to order. Joanna?”

“Here Daddy, sheesh, I’m sitting right here…” Twelve year old Joanna sighed heavily.

“Jim?”

“…Jim?”

“Here Bones, sheesh, I’m sitting right here...” Thirty-six year old Jim sighed heavily.

“Of course I’m here too.”

“Well, duh!” Jim and Jo answered together.

“The purpose of this meetin’, all snark aside, is to discuss what we’re all givin up for Lent.”

“Giving up for Lent, Bones? I thought we agreed we’d stay away from religion after that experience with the Catholics and pepperoni on Fridays?”

“Yeah well I told you it wasn’t a good idea to debate the topic of ‘mystery meat’ with priests… Anyway, what are we givin up?”

“I don’t want to give up anything too important Bones, like coffee or chocolate.”

  
“A little suffering is good for the soul.”

“I didn’t believe it the first time you said that to me and I don’t believe you now.”

“Well Jim, you mentioned givin up chocolate and I think that’s what you should do.”

“Well fine Bones, but you have to do it too.”

“Fine, we’ll all do it.” Joanna announced.

The first day was hell. By noon Bones was in a bear of a mood and Joanna had barricaded herself in her room. By dinnertime even Jim’s normally sunny disposition had darkened. By 8PM, Jim had a plan, not believing in no win scenarios and all that jazz.

KNOCK, KNOCK. “GO AWAY!” Joanna called.

“PSSST, Operation Italiano is underway. Follow purple chickadee protocol.” Jim whispered from the other side of her bedroom door.

Joanna met Jim at the maple tree down the block ten minutes later. She had told Bones she was going to study with a friend and Jim had said he was going to the library. Fifteen minutes later they were enjoying gelato al cioccolato at the Italian ice cream parlor across town.

Joanna and Jim were sitting a table laughing and joking together when Bones walked in ten minutes after that. “Guess ya’ll forgot to tell me Operation Italiano was a go, huh?”

“How in hell did you find us Bones?”

“Only you would think you could eat chocolate in a foreign language and not consider it cheatin, Jim.” Bones winked at him and walked to the counter to do some cheatin’ of his own. His family sitting around a table laughing together was worth it. Maybe next year they'd try celebrating Passover.


	12. Easter Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim takes Joanna shopping for an Easter dress.

It had to be a pink dress with a little white sweater, which Joanna informed him was called a shrug. Nothing else would do. They had been to three stores already and Jim was beginning to panic. He was a starship captain used to dealing with hostile enemies. Klingons and Romulans had nothing on a seven year old with a dream dress in her head.

 

“Daddy Jim, come on, just one more store, please?” Joanna hit him with the patented McCoy smile. She wasn’t playing fair.

 

“Okay Jo, one more store and then we’re done for the day. Why does it have to be a pink dress?”

 

“Daddy likes it when I wear pink.” That was all she needed to say. If Bones liked a pink dress on his little girl then Jim would make sure they both got their wish.


	13. Mother of Trouser Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones gets Jim a large (Dragon) egg for Easter.

Jim is a HUGE Game of Thones fan and read all of the Song Of Ice And Fire books. He was so into these books, he pestered Bones until he read them all too. Bones won’t admit this to anyone, but he is a bigger fan of the books than Jim. 

For Easter, Bones got Jim an enormous chocolate egg, it’s the size of Jim’s head.  Jim goes around telling everyone on board the Enterprise he’s the Mother of Dragons. Crew members even go so far as to call Jim ‘Khaleesi’ when the captain is off duty. 

One day on the bridge, Jim is going on and on about the dragon egg and being the Mother of Dragons and Bones being fed up with the whole thing says a little too loudly, “Yeah, the mother of my one-eyed trouser dragon.”

 No one called Jim ‘Khaleesi’ again after that…


	14. Heap A Trouble

“James Tiberius Kirk you get you happy ass back here right now.” Bones howled from the living room as Jim attempted to tip toe past him.

“Yeah, Bones?” Jim was well and truly fucked, caught red handed as it were.

“What have you got there, Jim?”

“Where, Bones?”

“Don’t be coy Jim, behind your back.”

“Uh, nothing.” He held out one empty hand, trying to stave off the inevitable as long as possible.

“Both hands, Jim.” Bones was not amused, the eyebrow of doom crawling up close to his hairline.

Jim sighed and brought out a small black bunny with a white spot on its nose.

“A rabbit, Jim? You bought her a rabbit?”

“Yeah well, its Easter, kids like bunnies.”

“Come with me.” Jim followed Bones out to the back porch. “I hope to hell that bunny is a boy Jim, ‘cause if it’s a girl we’re in for a heap a trouble.” Sitting on the deck was a small cage housing a tiny brown bunny.

“You got her one too?” Jim laughed and opened the cage to put his bunny in with Bones’.

“Yup, guess great minds think alike huh?” Bones laughed too and pulled Jim in close.

“Next time we check with each other first, right?”


	15. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Planting flowers.
> 
> I am so sorry...

It was pouring; raining so hard as to almost blind you. Water was blinding Dr. Leonard McCoy, but it wasn’t rainwater, it was his own tears. He was standing at David McCoy’s grave, here to mark another year without his father; his hero. The anniversary of his death never got any easier, it only resurrected memories no son, no doctor should ever carry.

The stone simply said, “David McCoy, Son, Doctor, Husband, Father.

Jim pushed back onto his feet. He was soaked to his bones and his pants were covered in mud from planting flowers on David’s grave. “We love you Dad.” Jim whispered, his wedding band ringing loudly when he patted the cold, wet marble.

Jim walked back to Bones and hugged him tight.


	16. Here Comes Penis Cottontail

It was meant to be an egg holder, a simple pair of white rabbit ears on a ring of cardboard. When assembled correctly and used according to the directions on the box, it was supposed to hold a colored Easter Egg. Jim Kirk was using the egg holder in an entirely new and inventive way. He had placed the ring of cardboard on the head of his cock, bunny ears facing Bones, who was kneeling on the bed between Jim’s legs. Jim was humping his pelvis up off the bed making it look like “Penis Cottontail” as Jim had dubbed it, was hopping. Jim was singing, “ _Here comes Penis Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail_ …”

Bones was NOT impressed. He raised an eyebrow at Jim and pushed himself off the bed, heading toward the door.

“BONES, where are you going?”

 “To get the one that looks like a cotton tail!”


	17. Peter Cotton-Picasso

It was 4am when Jim heard footsteps on the stairs. He prayed it wasn’t Joanna or the jig would be up. He got up and stood in front of the table, as if his body would be enough to shield the metric ton of glitter and reams of colored construction paper. Thankfully Bones’ sleepy head poked around the corner and Jim took a gulping relieved breath. The relief lasted until Bones spoke.

“What in the name of Stonewall Jackson’s ghost are you doin, Jim? It’s the middle of the night.”

He stepped aside to show Bones the full effect of what he had been up to all night. The dining room table was covered in construction paper bunny prints. Some were glittery, others multi-colored, others traced and not yet cut out.

“What is all this, Jim?” Bones rubbed the sleep from his surprised eyes.

“I was gonna leave bunny tracks all over the house leading Joanna to all the places we hid her Easter treats. I was even gonna leave tracks to the new toothbrush you insisted we get her.” Jim grinned.

“C’mon darlin, you know the toothbrush was to counteract the damage caused by the ton of candy you bought her. There’s no excuse for bad oral hygiene. So why are you killin yourself in the middle of the night, Jim?” He pulled Jim in for a long kiss. “You should be cuddled asleep with me.” Bones knew Jim’s answer to this but wanted to hear him say it. He never tired of hearing Jim talk about how much he loved Joanna.

“It’s my first Easter with Joanna. I wanted it to be special for her.”

“It is special, because you’re here with us.”

Jim shrugged and sighed.

“Need a hand there, Peter Cotton-Picasso?”

Jim nodded and Bones grabbed the glitter.


	18. Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet, We're Hunting Wabbits

“Where are we going Daddy?” Joanna asked Jim as he slung his backpack over his shoulders and held out his hand for Joanna.

“We’re going rabbit hunting, Jo.” Jim was all smiles.

They headed out the back door of the house and walked into the woods edging the Kirk-McCoy farmhouse. As they walked, Jim pointed out different kinds of trees. Joanna stopped to pick up acorns and pine cones.

Jim stopped at a pretty little stream and knelt down on the ground. He unzipped his backpack and brought out a ziplock bag filled with lettuce and carrots.

“Veggies, Daddy? YUCK!” Joanna giggled.

“There not for us, Jo, just sit and watch.” Jim took the food out and set it a few trees back from where Joanna sat.

“Now what Daddy?” 

“Now we wait, for our special guests to arrive, Jo.” Jim snuggled her into his side.

Half an hour later there was no sign of the special guests and Joanna had fallen asleep tucked into Jim’s arms. He heard a crinkle in the leaf litter and then saw a twitchy nose poke out from behind the tree and hop to the vegetables. It was quickly followed by several more tiny rabbits. Jim nudged Joanna awake.

“Daddy, what is it?” Jim pointed to the stack of carrots where the family of bunnies was happily munching away.

“Ohhhh.” She whispered.

Jim pulled out his phone and started snapping pictures. The family of rabbits hopped away when their bellies were full.

“I love rabbit hunting with you, Daddy.” Joanna hugged his neck tightly.

“Me too, Jo, me too.” Jim scooped her up and carried his baby girl home.


	19. The Easter Candy Aisle

The candy aisle stretched for miles.

“Holy fuck, Bones…” For the first time in his life, James Tiberius Kirk was speechless. Intimidated too.

“How much candy does one little girl need?” Bones’ mouth gaped open, one eyebrow arched in alarm.

They were dead men walking. They pushed the carriage past chocolate bunnies of different sizes, in milk, dark and white chocolate. There were entire flocks or marshmallow chickens in different colors, rainbows of colored jelly beans, acres of straw Easter baskets and herds upon herds of stuffed rabbits, chicks and ducks.

How did people do this every year and still stay sane?

“Where do we start Bones?”

“Fucked if I know, Jim.”

“Maybe we should ask someone for help?”

Jim turned slowly around in the aisle and thought maybe dealing with angry Klingons wasn’t so bad after all.


	20. Green Eggs and Ham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last of the Easter drabbles...Don't forget today is half price Easter Candy!

It was the day after Easter and Bones had to work the overnight shift at the hospital. When he came home around lunchtime it was to find his husband and young daughter laughing hysterically over their lunches. “Jim, Jo, you two okay?”

“I would not eat them with Bones, I would not eat them with scones.” Jim laughed.

Joanna giggled and joined in. “I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere.”

Bones looked at the two plates on the dining room table. Jim and Joanna were enjoying slices of ham leftover from yesterday’s dinner. They were also eating egg salad sandwiches. The egg salad was green. “What in hell is that Jim? Are you nuts, eatin’ that?”

“I would not eat them in the depths of hell, I would not eat them in a taco shell.”

Joanna giggled and joined in again. “I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere.”

“Jimmm.” Bones drawled.

“Calm down Bones.” Jim said. “The egg dye bled through the egg shells and colored the egg whites green. So Jo and I peeled the green eggs, there’s enough left over for you.

“I will eat them with Jo and you, so long as you love me too.” Bones giggled and reached for the bread.


	21. May Day Mayday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim throws a May Day celebration, what could possibly go wrong?

It was May first, May Day and Jim Kirk had a party to prepare for. He and Bones had spent a good portion of the previous day getting the Maypole ready, stringing bright colored ribbons and getting the pole itself dug into the yard. Then they had done all of the shopping for the barbeque to come.

May Day was an Old-Earth celebration of flowers and fertility, but for Jim, it was just a great reason to throw a party for his friends. Once all of the food had been made, he left Bones grumbling with a sink full of dirty dishes as he ran upstairs to grab a shower. Half an hour later when Jim was clean and presentable he strolled down the stairs, stopping on the landing to look out the window, he noticed cars in the driveway and wondered why Bones hadn’t shouted up to him that their friends had arrived.

“Bones?” Jim yelled. His husband met him at the foot of the stairs. “Why didn’t you tell me everyone was here?”

“Ah, Jim, there’s been a little snafu.” Bones was petting him. If Jim didn’t know there was trouble before he certainly knew there was now. Bones only petted him when something went wrong with one of his glorious plans.

“You’d better come see this for yourself.” Bones led the way to the patio.

What Jim saw when he walked outside made his mouth drop open. Spock and Nyota were both wearing life vests. Scotty and Gaila had bandages around their heads, stained with something red. Sulu and Chekov were both sporting crutches and fake casts on one leg each. “What the hell is this?”

“Jim, calm doon, it’s just a wee misunderstandin’” Scotty said, trying not to laugh.

“It’s just, we thought…” Nyota was laughing too hard to continue.

“Jim, we thought you were wishing to have a mayday celebration. You know, ‘the ship is going down, mayday, mayday.’ We did not realize _May Day_ was something else entirely.”

Spock’s deadpan impersonation of a mayday distress signal started everyone off into another fit of giggles. Even Bones was hiding a laugh behind his hand.

Jim laughed along with everyone.“Bones, grab your med bag, there must be something in there we can use to celebrate mayday properly.”


	22. May The 4th Be With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of Star Wars Day, May the 4th be with you!

“I wanna be Luke this time, Sam.”

“I’m Luke, Jimmy, you be Darth Vader.”

“Come on, just this once?”

“Fine, sheesh, you can be Luke, just shut up before you wake Frank up.”

Jim ran to the living room window and took the wooden slat from the sleeve at the base of the window shade. Sam was in the front hall doing the same thing. Boy boys raised their “light sabers” and prepared to do battle; one for good and the rebel alliance, the other for evil and the empire.

“ZHOOOOON.” Sam hummed as waved his light saber in front of him.

Jim giggled at Sam’s bad impression of the sound the weapon made as sliced through the air. “ZHOOOOON” Jim echoed anyway.

Sam deepened his voice, “Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.”

Jim looked mighty offended as he moaned out, “I'll never join you!”

Sam grinned manically, “If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”

“He told me enough! He told me you killed him!” Jim sneered.

“I am your father.” Sam was dancing around Jim, waving his light saber.

“No. No. That's not true. That's impossible!”

“Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”

Jim wailed, “No! No!”

“Goddammed noisy brats.” A slurred, angry voice roared from the next room.

Both boys froze instantly, eyes wide. Sam reached for Jim’s hand and the boys raced together out the door, light sabers in hand. They used “the force” of their love as brothers to defeat evil emperor once again. They giggled as they ran out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My little brother and I used to do this very thing, we'd grab the wooden slats from the window shades and pretend to be different characters from the Star Wars movies.
> 
> I've been having a lot of Jim feels lately and I wanted to see one happy moment from his childhood. One tiny moment when he just got to be a little boy playing with his big brother.
> 
> Yes, I'm crying...


	23. Cinco de Mayo

Jim Kirk was bored to death. He was spending Cinco de Mayo with his crew in some swanky bar in downtown San Francisco. Uhura and Gaila were dancing to the beat of some crazy 1980’s pop song, while Spock watched Uhura like a hawk. Scotty and Bones were sitting next to each other at the bar slugging back tequila at an alarming rate, the salt shaker and bowl of limes, long abandoned. Sulu and Chekov were nuzzling at each other in a corner booth, aware only of each other.  Jim was happy that the two of them had finally found the courage to tell each other how they felt and were now wonderfully (sickeningly) happy together. He wondered what would happen if he finally found his own courage and told Bones how he had felt about him all these years. He was startled out of his own head by the sound of Bones laughing. There was no sweeter sound anywhere in the galaxy than when Leonard McCoy laughed.

Jim made his way back to his two friends to find out what the hell was so funny. “Jimmy.” Scotty called out when he approached them. “Have some te-kill-ya, me boyo.” Scotty and Bones broke into the giggles over Scotty’s clever line.

“I’m bored Bones, this place is too stuck-up for us. Let’s go somewhere fun.”

Bones winked at him. “You’re bored, Jim? I got just the thing for you.” Bones stumbled up from his barstool, grabbed the blue sombrero off of Spock’s head and ducked down to talk to the DJ. Bones walked to the middle of the dance floor and set Spock’s hat down and stared at Jim.

Mexican music began to play and Bones crossed his arms in front of his chest. He kicked out his left foot to the side, then his right foot. He repeated each step again and then clapped in time to the music. He was laughing as he continued to dance around Spock’s hat.

Jim heard Scotty whoop from behind him and felt him clap Jim hard on the shoulder. “I cannae believe Lenny’s doin’ the Mexican Hat Dance. He musta had more te-kill-ya than I thought. Come on Jimmy, let’s join him.”

Jim ran to stand beside Bones and quickly picked up the steps. He laughed along as Uhura and Gaila joined in and laughed harder when Spock joined in too. They all began dancing around the hat. At one point the dance called for everyone to link arms with the person next to them. Bones grabbed Jim and started twirling him around. The song ended and the bar was going nuts cheering. Bones leaned in and whispered in Jim’s ear, “Ya know kid, tequila makes my clothes fall off.”

“We’ll stop for a case of it on the way home.” Jim grabbed Bones’ arm and started pulling him to the door.

“OLE!” Bones yelled.


	24. National Nurses Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of today being National Nurses Day! Hug a nurse or a grumpy southern doctor!

“Thank you Doctor McCoy.” Nurse Johannsen said in greeting as Bones stepped into the elevator.

“You’re welcome.” He muttered, not entirely sure what he was being thanked for, but he was in no mood to find out either.

“Good morning, Dr. McCoy.” Nurse Samuels said as he walked into the ER. “Thank you.”

Leo nodded, unsure of what she meant. _That’s odd_ , he thought, two people in a row thanking him.

“Thank you, Dr. McCoy, they’re gorgeous.” Nurse Parks said as Leo was reading over the day’s staff rotations. He was puzzled, what had he done to make all of these nurses thank him?

Nurse Flanagan almost crashed into him as she flew around the corner. “Thanks Dr. McCoy.” She called out over her shoulder. “It’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for us in ages.”

“You’re welcome.” Leo said, more determined than ever to get to the bottom of this mystery.

He was on his way to his office, figuring he might find the answer on his computer, when he was stopped by Nurse White. “Always knew you were a big softie, thanks Dr. McCoy.”

He walked into his office and found a sealed, white envelope on his desk from the local florist shop. He opened it to find a bill for fifty-eight long stemmed, pink rose buds. There were fifty-eight nurses on staff in the ER today, he thought to himself. ‘For National Nurses Day,’ the invoice stated. Under the message field it read, “Happy Nurses Day. Thanks for all you do. –L.H. McCoy.” He hadn’t done this, but had a pretty good idea who had. This feeling was confirmed when he read down to the grand total of the bill. “JIMMMMMM!” He yelled into the silence of his office.


	25. Mother's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers!!

“Jim, what’s all this?” Bones asked, pointing to a stack of presents at Joanna’s spot on the breakfast table.

“Mother’s Day presents for Jo-Jo, for being such a great Mommy to her dolls and stuffies.”

“What’s this about, kid?” Sometimes Bones had no idea what went on his husband’s beautiful mind.

Jim blushed under Bones scrutiny. “Well, you know, it’s just us and well, we’re uhm, not very maternal.”

Bones thought he understood where his crazy husband was going with this line of thought. “And you’re afraid she won’t be maternal ‘cause a us, darlin’?”

Jim ducked his head. “You’re a wonderful father, Bones, you are. I just worry we’re not enough for Jo.”

Bones pulled Jim into his arms. Say what you will about Captain James Tiberius Kirk, but he was one hell of a father. “We’re plenty darlin’ don’t you worry about that.”

They both heard Jo’s tiny feet padding down the stairs.”Mornin’ ya’ll Daddies.” She giggled as she ran to Jim.

This was the best part of his day. “Mornin’ princess.” He scooped her up and gave her a big kiss. He threw in a few tickles to hear her giggle again as he walked them over to Bones, who joined their hug.

“Are those prezzies for me, Daddy Jim?”

“Well, it is Mother’s Day, have you been a good Mommy to your dolls?”

Joanna’s eyes went wide as she nodded at Jim. She scrambled down from Jim’s arms and climbed up onto her chair “Wow, Daddies!” She was barely taller than the stack of presents.

Bones grabbed the movie camera and started to film as Joanna tore into the presents. Her haul included two new dolls, a baby crib and double stroller. He was sure he would get stuck assembling the crib. He with his legendary hands and all.

“Thank you Daddy.” Jo said as she slipped into Jim’s arms.

“You’re welcome, honey. I think you’re the best Mommy in the whole galaxy.”

“That’s ‘cause I got the best Daddies in the galaxy.”

Jim didn’t bother to hide his tears and when he looked up at Bones, his eyes were misty too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is actually based on something from my own life. One Mother's Day when I was about ten years old, my father gave me a pair of earrings because I had been a good mother to my dolls. So I swapped myself out for Joanna. 
> 
> It's tickles me to death that Jim would think about something like this for Joanna. He is one helluva Dad!


	26. National Limerick Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of National Limerick Day!
> 
> I have included a "bonus" Limerick at the bottom...Bones wanted you to read both of his!

Hurricane O’Reilly’s 10th Annual Limerick Contest  
  
Bones wasn’t sure how he’d gotten roped into this. He was sitting at the bar, beer on his left and six different cocktail napkins each with limericks in various states of doneness spread out on his right. Dammit, he was a doctor, not a poet. Oh wait, he did know how he got roped into this and there was the blue-eyed menace now about to take the stage with his entry.

Jim stepped onto the stage and grabbed the mike, he winked at Bones before he began.

 _There once was a man from the South._  
He liked to put big things in his mouth.  
It was a really neat trick,   
As he swallowed right quick.  
And that was the end of my dick.

Jim was wearing a shit eating grin as he accepted applause and cat calls from his adoring public. Bones was going to kill him. FUCKING kill him if it was the last thing he did. No wait, on second thought, he had a better idea. He grabbed a fresh napkin and started to write.

When Bones took the stage, he tipped a salute at Jim and began.

 _There once was a Captain of a ship,_  
Who took us on a mighty long trip.  
He thought he was cool,  
But in fact he’s a tool,  
Hey Jim, can I push in your stool?

The crowd went nuts. Jim looked stunned and murderous all at once. Never one to be one-upped, Jim charged the stage and planted one on Bones’ lips.

“If I’d known you’d kiss me, I’d have called you a tool months ago.

 

 

 

Bonus Limerick:

 _There once was a man from Riverside,_  
Who took his dick out for a ride.  
Found a really cute lass,  
With a super tight ass  
I cured his VD with sass.

 


	27. National Blood Pressure Month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of May being National Blood Pressure Awareness Month, Bones' clinic is offering free blood pressure screens.

“Okay, ya’ll, settle down.” Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy said. Fuck, it was only 7am and he had one helluva headache already.”May is National Blood Pressure month and we’re gonna be offerin’ free blood pressure screens here every afternoon all month long. Use this as a tool, people. Talk about good nutrition and try to give referrals to Doctor Moo, errrm, Doctor Mortimer, rather.” The other nurses and doctors burst out laughing at Bones’ slip of the tongue. Bones blushed, everyone called the nutritionist Dr. Moo, due to his propensity to advocate for ruffage and a hundred types of supplements. Leo had once joked his patients could save the hundred dollars per visit and go graze outside like a cow. Thus, the legend of Doctor Moo was born. “Let’s have a great day everyone.”

Half an hour into the free blood pressure screens Bones decided this was Dante’s unnamed tenth circle of hell. Fuck, he thought, it probably extended in to the eleventh and twelfth circles as well. Each of his last two patients had come in munching on a Big Mac and fries from greasy paper sacks.

“Well, mmppfff?” His patient asked, mouth stuffed full of golden fries.

Bones assumed the “mmppfff” meant doc, but he wasn’t sure. “It’s a little high there, Bob, how about a referral to our resident nutritionist?”

“You sayin’ I got me bad nutrition, doc?” Bob took an enormous bite of his Big Mac.

 _Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?_ He thought.  “It wouldn’t hurt to add some vegetables into your diet.”

“Taters are veggies, Doc.”

 

Bones next patient was also carrying a bag from McDonalds, his mouth was stuffed full as he hopped up onto the exam table. “Jesus Christ having a heart attack. Why is everyone comin’ in for blood pressure checks with fast food bags?” He was asking himself the question, but his patient provided an answer.

“Think it has to do with this blonde guy buyin’ everyone lunch and tellin’ ‘em to come see you, Doc McCoy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want to see any of these Easter/Spring drabbles evolve into a full length fic!


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